English Signs Abroad
Here are some
signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world.
You have to give the writers an 'E' for Effort.
In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such
thing is please not to read notis.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you
will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift
backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more
persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going
alphabetically by national order.
In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please
leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors
are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure
is the job of the chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited
to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel
across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery
where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily
except Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to
perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope
for.
On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid
red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let
loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
Outside
a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Bangkok
dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
Outside
a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.
In a Rhodes tailor
shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers
in strict rotation.
A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
It
is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different
sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married
with each other for that purpose.
In a Zurich hotel:
Because of
the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it
is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In an advertisement
by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon
having a good time.
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one
of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.
Advertisement
for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today - no ice cream.
In
a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed
as a man.
In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with
nuts.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags
and send them in all directions.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children
in the bar.
In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals.
If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
In the
office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served
here.
In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll
find they are best in the long run.
From a Japanese information booklet
about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just
condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
From a brochure
of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle
the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage
then tootle him with vigor.
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